Overcoming Addiction…”The Buckster’s” Take
Most of us with Type A personalities have a tendency to hit it hard because we do everything BIG. In my case, this applied to drugs and alcohol as well.
On October 14th I will celebrate 14 years of hard-earned sobriety. I fight for it every single day and know that I can never go back to that life.
In fact, I have told my friends that if they ever see The Buckster with a beer in his hand they should just walk away and never talk to me again – because bad shit is on its way.
The problem with those of us who have Type A personalities (aka “Asskickers”) is that we think we can handle it. We think we can be that open-bar, attaboy, time-wasting glad-hander at the bar with our office colleagues.
We think that we have it under control. We think that everyone likes us in that drunk or high state.
You can fake the funk and be a functioning addict, but eventually the game will catch up with you – player!
The final score will be your death, someone else’s death (i.e.: car accident), or you getting sober. Those are the only three choices. No one EVER drinks less or takes less over time.
That’s a fact.
One of the many stupid things I did to hide my addiction was to drink a six-pack of beer on the drive home from work, so that when I grabbed a beer out of the fridge my wife would think it was the first one and not the seventh.
What a dumbass I was.
I’m lucky that she stayed by The Buckster’s side and supported me through my recovery. I’m also lucky to have never killed anyone while I was drinking and driving.
If you are doing those same types of stupid tricks, STOP!
If you are an asskicker like me, you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to. That includes getting sober.
If you can white-knuckle it, do that. If you need to see a counselor, or go to a program, do that. If you need to check yourself into rehab, do that.
Don’t give a shit what others think, and get ready to lose some fake friends along the way.
Remember that it’s about you, your family, your life, and your career.
Those four things are worth fighting for, and worth becoming and staying sober for.
Almost 14 years into my fight with addiction and I can say that becoming sober is my greatest accomplishment.
Are weight-ists the new racists?
Growing up in the rural Carolinas, I was no stranger to racists and bigots – including some members of my own family. Racism is a truly sickening affliction, and a direct reflection of low IQ.
Of course racism still exists in America, though thankfully far less of it than ever before. It’s still something that we as a society need to be aware of and address aggressively.
However, I think the new target of discrimination seems to be people who are overweight.
Ever been so skinny that your basketball coach threatened to take away your scholarship if you didn’t gain weight?
That was me. Thin as a rail.
A decade later, I gained a lot of weight – so big that people would ask me which pro football team I used to play for.
I had become a fatass.
Let me tell you, I experienced that discrimination first-hand when I looked like a retired defensive tackle.
Being a weight-ist is just as wrong as being a racist. Pompous, knee-jerk assumptions based on a single glance are total bullshit.
Every person, regardless of race, or size, or whatever… you get it, player… deserves to be judged on their actions.
Anyone can be a dinghole – black, white, fat, thin, you name it. But I know that if you negatively judged me based on my outward appearance – you would’ve been dead wrong.
So like them or hate them, but make that decision based on who they are as people – not what they are on the outside.
Now let’s go get something to eat!
LET H8 MOTIVATE!
ABC: Always Be Creative
I’m sure you’ve heard that famous phrase from that famous movie where that famous actor says “Coffee is for closers.” He goes on to demoralize a group of lazy, rag-tag sales guys by hammering the phrase “Always be closing.”
That has been the prevalent meaning of “ABC” in the business community for decades. In too many sales environments the “close everyone, all the time, at all costs” mentality is both nauseating and outdated.
Don’t be one of those sociopathic idiots who is always in sales mode.
What “ABC” should stand for is “Always Be Creative.”
Instead of acting like a hammer looking for a nail, use your creative skills to figure out how to set yourself apart from your competition.
One of the best ways to do that is by putting your customers’ best interests at the forefront of everything you do – even if you H8 their ass.
Ask yourself: how would you like to be sold?
Would you prefer the brute force and aggression displayed by Alec Baldwin’s character in Glengarry Glen Ross?
Give it some thought. What would be a creative and new way to attract the type of customer you want to work with? What unique approach is not being used currently in your industry? What can you do that no one else has the guts to try?
The days of the hard close are over.
Leave that to the schmucks littering the used car lots and timeshare cesspools.
If you speak less, listen more – and Always Be Creative – success will happen on your terms.
LET H8 MOTIVATE!
Get your freak on… freak!
Everyone on the planet has something unique about their personality, and that uniqueness is the key to success in life and in your career.
Unfortunately, the planet is also full of Sappy McSapsters who are too often influenced by the media and societal norms to look, talk, and act the same as everyone around them.
Sad, but true.
If you find yourself conforming to this herd mentality – stop immediately!
Embrace who you are! Stop giving a shit what other people think. Quit caring whether people approve of what you do, or how you look.
Be true to yourself for once, and stay that way.
What you will discover is that most people don’t give a crap about you one way or the other – which is okay.
The people in your life that really care about you will accept you as you are – the “true you.” You’ll find out exactly who your legit friends and advocates are.
We are all our own exclusive freak show, and it’s finally time to get your freak on – freak!
LET H8 MOTIVATE!
Quit Your PRIME Bitchin’!
Jeff Bezos is a badass entrepreneur to say the least. But, I can guarantee you that when he was working 16 hours a day in his garage – in debt to his eyeballs, taking business risks that you and I can’t fathom – he never would’ve guessed the bullshit that he’s having to deal with now.
Yesterday, some of his Amazon workers in Shakopee, Minnesota went on strike during “Prime Day” following similar protests in December and March.
Previously these employees – not owners – demanded that the company relax performance quotas during Ramadan and provide a specific place to pray.
I could care less if these employees are Muslims, Baptists, Catholics, Mormons, Jews, or atheists… it’s bullshit. Plain and simple.
For all of you politically correct idiots out there who think that’s “hate speech,” it isn’t. It’s the brutal truth, so get used to it.
But… Even though Amazon gave this small group of Somali-American workers what they wanted, it’s not enough. Now they’re demanding more.
The three biggest demands these workers are making during Amazon’s busiest days of the year are as ridiculous as Amazon’s deals.
They want more temporary jobs turned into full-time positions, as if they get to make business decisions for a multi-billion dollar company. You don’t get to make that call as an employee.
They want their performance quotas permanently reduced because they feel unsafe. If you feel unsafe, go find a safe job elsewhere. No-brainer. Amazon isn’t short on applications for these jobs.
They want the easing of work quotas for the month of Ramadan. Maybe Catholics will want less work during Lent. How about “Holy Roller” month for the Baptists!
Their attempts to create more “secure” jobs by demanding lower quotas and less work is a total crop of crap! In the private sector, there is NO SUCH THING as secure jobs. Get a public sector job, if that’s your dream.
Admittedly, the stench of politics, lawyers, and special interest sociopaths seems to fill the air with this ridiculous attempt at a power grab. Even if Amazon gives in again – which would be a mistake – we all know that they’ll be back demanding more next year. You can take that one to the Bezos bank!
Like the old salami game – one slice at a time.
If Amazon supposedly treats its workers like crap, they will pay the price because the Targets and Walmarts of the world (you know, their competitors) will fill that void.
I guarantee that the vast majority of hard-working Americans couldn’t care less about their “plight” – because they’re all too busy trying to make a living, put food on the table, and support their families.
My advice to Amazon workers: Quit your bitchin’ and get back to work – or find another job!
That’s the way it has always worked, and still works today. It’s called the free market! It’s called capitalism!
It’s called America!
LET H8 MOTIVATE!
The more you tell…the more you smell
We live in a world of constant self-promotion. Kids and adults are literally killing themselves daily from depression linked to social media and our warped pop culture.
“Enough about you, let’s talk about me.” Right?
Let’s all stop this bullshit, and cut people off at the verbal pass when they turn into their own advertising agency. These idiots are NOT your friends.
You know the type. Maybe you ran into them at your 4th of July cookout. Maybe it was a family member – that dinghole cousin who just got into real estate and is “making serious bank” (but is actually about to be foreclosed on).
We all have this horrible, involuntary, instinctual drive to let people know that we are kicking ass. I guess we all seek approval, starting at a very young age.
You don’t need that anymore! Who really gives a shit if people know you’re a bad ass? Who cares if they see you for the real MR’er you are? Let them find out – or not.
If you find yourself randomly promoting yourself in a conversation – STOP!
Envision a liquid turd coming out of your mouth, because that’s what you’re doing player.
Same goes for that blowhard you’re talking to when they turn into a self-promo idiot. Picture brown liquid in the corners of their mouth as they’re blabbering. That “verbal shit” stinks.
Here’s what to do the next time some “walking PR firm” starts spewing all of their shit on you during a conversation: Listen, wait until they take a breath, then say “good listening to you,” and walk away.
Maybe they will get the obvious message, but at least you don’t have to keep listening to it.
LET H8 MOTIVATE!
Everybody’s got shit flying
As flawed human beings, we all think that our situation is worse than everyone else around us. We think our neighbors’ lives are perfect, that they have more money than us, and that their kids are wonderful, problem-free citizens of the world.
I call BULLSHIT!
Everyone has their own story and their own shit flying.
My wife took a call this morning from a friend who is one of those annoying self-promoters. Her friend shared that her family life is total shit and falling apart. On the surface, and from a distance, you’d think her life was perfectly put together.
Life is hard. Relationships are hard. Family is hard. Business is hard.
Nod your head, player! I know you get it.
If you come to life’s party knowing that it’s going to be a bitch for you and everyone around you, then you won’t experience so many emotional peaks and valleys.
Keep your head down and fight for it every single day. Know that other people and your competitors might appear to be sailing through life smoothly, but they’re dealing with life’s shit just like you.
Everyone has different advantages and disadvantages, but life has a way of leveling the playing field when it comes to “shit flying.”
That’s a fact.
LET H8 MOTIVATE!
The answer to “How’s it going?”
I hate – not to be confused with “H8” – mindless chit-chat. It’s even worse when people ask questions they don’t actually want an answer to.
“How’s it going?” “How are you doing?”
Or my favorite: “You’re doing well, right?”
Nothing like answering the question while you’re asking it. This was a favorite of my parents, because they didn’t really want to know the raw details. All they wanted was confirmation of what they wanted to be true. Sad reality, but I bet it sounds familiar.
The next time some sap, friend or family, asks you these types of worthless and shallow questions, VOMIT all over them. Projectile vomit, if you can pull it off!
Instead of giving the usual empty, worthless, dinghole response of “fine” or “good,” give them the brutal truth and launch into the raw realities of your life.
You’ll find out very quickly if that person really gives a shit and wanted the truth, or was just blowing sunshine up your ass.
The good news is that the next time they try to ask you a bullshit question, they’ll think twice – and maybe keep their mouth shut.
Start defining how people interact with you. Stop wasting time with mindless banter from mindless people.
BKYH8 is the walking middle finger of brutal truth, and you should be too. Tell the truth in every situation – no exceptions!
People will respect you more, but even better – you’ll respect yourself.
LET H8 MOTIVATE!
Guard your brain from incoming crap
We are inundated with messages, images, and advertising from the time we wake up until the time we pass out. It’s overwhelming, and something that you should be guarding against.
All of the shit that hits your brain has to be processed, which is probably the reason you feel worn out all the time.
Here’s an idea: STOP!
STOP turning on the TV the minute you wake up, or the minute you walk in the door from work. STOP mindlessly listening to the so-called pundits on talk radio all day. STOP checking your phone all day to surf the internet or check your social media. Just STOP.
Instead, try having your morning coffee with ambient noise or down-tempo music without vocals. The morning news offers you very little in the way of positive vibes anyway. Don’t worry about FOMO. If a nuclear bomb went off, you’ll know.
At work, play some upbeat soundtrack music at a low volume in the background. Music without lyrics is less distracting. Focus on kicking ass, and don’t be a bent neck with your eyes glued to your phone.
Before you go to bed, give yourself 30 minutes to an hour of quiet time to reflect on the day and prepare yourself mentally to kick ass tomorrow.
The less words you hear or visual images you process, the more your brain is freed up to be creative. Try it for ONE DAY, and you’ll never go back.
Monks know what they’re doing. They strip out all of the outside noise so they can focus 100%. Go get your monk freak on, and proactively guard your number one asset – your brain!
That’s why my blogs are short and my podcasts are only 8 minutes. Get your MotiH8tion and InspirH8tion as quickly as possible so you can get back to kicking ass and forgetting the names!
Now stop wasting time and go get it, player!
LET H8 MOTIVATE!
Run life’s marathon like a sprinter
Most things worth having and achieving in both life and business take time and unyielding effort. It’s a daily war. Hand to hand combat. Sometimes it seems like an endless marathon with no finish line in sight.
The typical human response is to pace yourself because the path to success is such a long haul, but that’s total bullshit.
You need to GO FAST and take chances every single day. You need to picture yourself at the starting line of a 26.2 mile marathon, and when the starting gun fires – you spring as hard as you can! Push yourself! You are more resilient than you think.
If you want success, you have to go get it. People, family, and your competition will think you’re crazy. They’ll think your pace is unsustainable. First of all, you are crazy. Most truly successful people are a little crazy. It’s part of the deal. But who gives a shit what any of those people think? It’s not about them. It’s about you, player!
Pacing yourself is for losers, posers, procrastinators, and excuse-makers. Why would you ever hold back? Roll the dice overhand with a running start! What have you got to lose?
So tomorrow morning, when that starting gun goes off – spring! And keep sprinting every morning after!
“Run Forrest, run!”
LET H8 MOTIVATE!
Tip your damn waitress!
Even though I am known the world over as the ultimate misanthrope – the walking middle finger of brutal truth – and a general H8ter of humanity as a whole, I still believe that you need to treat people with respect.
Yes, those things CAN go together.
One group of workers that deserve our misanthropic attention are waitresses, bartenders, and the people who dutifully clean our hotel rooms.
They probably H8 humanity too!
Not everyone is going to be the CEO of a company, a high-level stock trader, or a computer genius – which is a good thing! Remember, it all comes down to passion and getting up every day to kick ass regardless of what you do for a living.
Stop being so stingy with your $$, and reward people for their service. Over-tip when at all possible. Share the wealth. It’s only money!
Write that person an InspirH8tional note along with your monetary “thank you” and tell them that you appreciate what they’re doing, and that passion and energy for their job isn’t going unnoticed or unappreciated.
DO THE RIGHT THING – even if you H8 humanity! That’s the way the game of life should be played… player!
LET H8 MOTIVATE!
Incrementalism is your new mantra
Overnight business success stories. Lottery winners. Crash diets. 6-minute abs. All of these are the bullshit dreams of turnip-truckers.
I call this “unicorns chasing butterflies” – that instinctive hope that there’s a short-cut to success or a personal goal. There isn’t. Too many hucksters and self-proclaimed gurus will tell you there is, and sell you what you want to hear, just to sell a worthless product or plan that will never work.
If you’re one of those Sappy McSapsters that still thinks there’s an easy way to hit it big or make it rich, let me take a crap on that pipe dream right now. There isn’t. Period. Sorry, not sorry.
Success in life, health, business – whatever – is achieved incrementally. As a wise man once said “the only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.”
Incrementalism is the key to anything you are trying to achieve.
I recently lost over 40lbs through a very strict vegan diet and daily exercise problem – over a TWO YEAR time period! I just published my 8th book after THREE YEARS of writing and SIX MONTHS of editing! One of my online businesses seems to have hit the critical mass point with sales after TEN YEARS of hard work every single day.
Listen, player, there are ZERO short-cuts for us normal people. The sooner you embrace this reality, the sooner you will be on the long path to achieving your goals.
LET H8 MOTIVATE!
Why You Need a Las Vegas Clock
One of my favorite places in the world is Las Vegas, and I happily embrace this freakshow location as one of my current residences. In addition to the casinos being pumped full of oxygen to keep you wired, my favorite Vegas quirk is the fact that it’s almost impossible to find a clock. I dare you to find one in a casino next time you visit. Time doesn’t exist. It’s all about “the now.” I frickin’ love that!
I’m a huge proponent of ALWAYS showing up on time, calling on time, etc….in business and daily life as part of keeping your word. However, when it comes to creativity….there is no clock or deadline. There is no time.
Stop conforming to societal “norms” when it comes to time. Listen to your own internal clock. Work all night if the creative flow is hitting you. Work in the early morning hours if that is when you find your groove. Sleep all day if that works best for your body’s engine. In other words, tune into the clock that works best for you.
I’m not even sure if you can buy a clock in Vegas. Probably not. Regardless….you need to abide by your own Las Vegas clock when it comes to your creative flow. No extra oxygen needed.
LET H8 MOTIVATE
Bragging is Jinxing
I don’t give a crap if you are superstitious or not, but there’s some “bad ju-ju” out there when you starting tooting your own horn too much. Nod your head because you know it’s true. Call it the revenge of the “Sales Gods” or “FU*Karma”, but bragging on yourself or your recent exploits never ends well.
If your career revolves around sales or selling, we have all bragged about a pending sale that we just knew was a “done deal,” only to see it go up in smoke. We always vow to never jinx a sale again by PB (premature bragging)….but our thirsty ego always seems to override common sense.
Bragging is jinxing. Never forget that. There’s no positive for anyone with pointless self promotion, and that’s a tough reality pill to swallow in our current “enough about you let’s talk about me” world. Selfie? Not!
Do you really need to tell anyone about your accomplishments? Why is it so important to let people know that you are good? Can you just not help yourself with this constant promo-bloviating? Might need some counseling to “unpack” what’s really at the core of this issue, player.
Stop with the personal press releases. Stay in your lane. Focus. Achieve. Repeat.
LET H8 MOTIVATE
Run directly toward life’s bullets
When problems occur, most people initially shy away from addressing or trying to solve those issues. It’s a common reflex to procrastinate or ignore with the false hope that these situations will solve themselves, or simply go away. We all know this is stupid dream that never comes true. Ever!
It’s time to adopt a new “best practice” when it comes to the constant shit hitting the fan. RUN DIRECTLY TOWARD LIFE’S BULLETS. Just like a good cop or military person does during a conflict, go straight at the problem without hesitation.
When a problem arises, set everything aside, meet it head on….and don’t waiver until you solve it. Don’t think about it. Don’t strategize. Don’t “get to it” tomorrow. Get it done right now!
This rule applies to both your business and personal life. Once you start running toward the bullets, you will never run away again.
LET H8 MOTIVATE!
Always look back at your stool
When you take a crap, drop a deuce, grunt…or whatever you call taking a shit….after you wipe and then stand up…..do you look back to analyze the results?
I recently had a family member tell me that they have never looked back at their turd pile! (Yes, I have been asking people that question to prove The Buckford’s theory on this!) That told me a lot about that person. They aren’t dealing with their own shit…literally and figuratively. How can a person not glance back at “their stool” and their life?
If you are trying to get better as a person or in business, you ALWAYS have to look back at the shit in the toilet and the shit in your life/career to make sure you are dealing with both past and future problems. It’s the only way to improve. It’s like watching your own game film to analyze your good and bad tendencies.
Not addressing your shit doesn’t mean the stink won’t go away. All of us have f**ked up, made bad decisions, and “flushed without analyzing.” You can’t do that. You have to address those tough issues in order to not make the same mistakes twice….and become the MF’er you know you are.
For the rest of your life, taking a crap will never be the same. You’re welcome.
LET H8 MOTIVATE
The dual meaning of STFU
To most people, STFU means “Shut The F**k Up.”
Directive. Concise. To the point. Easy to understand. Universally accepted.
I love the acronym STFU so much that it is carved into my forehead on the cover of my new book, I HATE EVERYONE but you….of course! That book should be on every winner’s bookshelf. I digress from my important STFU rant, so let’s pivot back to the topic at hand.
STFU in the world of business (and life for that matter) can also mean “Success Through Follow Up.” Never thought if it that way did you, Player?
Calling on time, showing up for meetings on time, and doing exactly what you say your are going to do when you said you were going to do it is also STFU! Basic success in whatever you do revolves around this. That’s the brutal truth. No education needed. No special skills. Just keep your damn word and proactively communicate if you can’t. Sounds simple, but most posers can’t consistently pull this off for some reason, and then question why they aren’t the ass-kickers that want to be.
If someone utters verbal stupidity towards you, then you know the original meaning and use of STFU…..but never forget the “Success Through Follow Up” directive as well. It will set you apart. STFU my “not friends.”
LET H8 MOTIVATE!
I HATE EVERYONE but you… of course!
Admit it, you hate most people. We all do. The majority of humans you run across are dumber than a box of hair. Net worth doesn’t always translate into IQ. So what do you do? How do you deal with all of these idiots while still continuing to kick ass? Up until now, the answer was like showing paintings to blind people.
A new day is upon us my “not friends.” Buckford “Bucky” Haighte (aka: BKYH8) has spawned a literary life, business, and sales masterpiece called:
I HATE EVERYONE but you….of course!
Game changing… blue water… ass-kicking… brutal truth. If this isn’t the book that you take on your next plane trip, then you are a poser. A fake. A loser.
With chapter titles like “Attracting Flies to Your Stink,” “Embrace Your Pre-Molded Freakshow,” and “You Can’t Polish a Turd, but You Can Roll it in Glitter”…this is the must read MotiH8tional & InspirH8tional book of your lifetime.
Reading this book is like getting hit with a 2×4 in your forehead with every page turned. Brutally factual in your face insights on how to kick life and business ass and not give a shit about the names.
You have nothing to lose but the time you continue to waste anyway. Stop bullshitting around.. for once. Buy the book, and stop being a sap.
Let H8 Motivate.
Stay in your damn lane!
In our crazy world of “noise” that we live in, it’s easy to get distracted. Life is a bitch, and managing and filtering inbound messages seems like a full time job.
You can’t be all things to all people. You can’t be good at everything. Trying to be the “master of the universe” guarantees that you will be mediocre and continually frustrated with your life and path to success.
Doctors who specialize in one discipline make more money than general practitioners. Financial professionals that specialize in one area make more money than financial planners. I could keep going.
Adding something to what you currently do is a mistake. It’s a distraction, even though it might make sense on the surface and you can somehow justify the pivot to something else.
Choose one thing. Focus your efforts there and become an expert. My boy Gladwell said something to the effect that if you spend 10,000 hours on a specific discipline or subject….you will become an expert in that field. Clocks ticking, Player. Time to start counting hours.
Start now….don’t put it off….and stay the damn lane you have chosen.
LET H8 MOTIVATE!
Who the hell is BKYH8?
Buckford “Bucky” Haighte (aka: BKYH8) is the “walking middle finger” of brutal truth and the baddest MF’er on the planet.
BKYH8 is actually… you!
It’s who you want to be. It’s who you should be. It’s who you will be. Raw. Honest. Transparent. In your face. Freak show. Ass-kicker. No pretenses. What you see is what you get. As pro wrestler Ric Flair once said, “You might not like it, but you better learn to love it.” BKYH8 is going to help you get there… and stay there! …and the people around you will have to just fall in line or get the hell out of the way.
In the current world of politically correct sappy bullshit, I’m the MotiH8tional voice needed to cut through all of the pop culture nonsense and put you on a permanent path to business and life success on your own terms.
Let my BK-U InspirH8tions be your guide. Let my book “I Hate Everyone…but you, of course!” be your roadmap. Let my “8 Minutes of Motivational H8” podcasts be the needed voice in your ear.
It’s time to finally get your ass in gear my “not friend.” It’s time to start kicking ass and not giving a shit about the names. It’s time to embrace the freak that you are and live life how you want to live it. It’s time… and you know it! So let’s get this shit started.
Let H8 Motivate.